Representative's Column・Reference Column/Shoto International Pre Scool in Shibuya

■What I learned only after having both disabled and healthy children.

I have met many children with smiles on their faces, and my job mission is to watch over these smiles.

When I gave birth to my first son, was the first smile to watch over. The birth of my first son was planned and all possible precautions were taken, but the child was born with a heart defect (aortic stenosis) due to the effects of labor-inducing drugs?　Although it was mild, he was destined to live with an intellectual disability. (Williams Syndrome....known in the U.S. as the child of love....children who forgot their envy, jealousy and hatred for God when they were born, children who love to love and hate to fight...)

Why...why...may I ・・・・ mourn and grieve every day, may the child in front of me please be misdiagnosed.　　Suddenly, a miracle happened...what a dream...I always and still think and pray, my son is now 23 years old.

I gave birth to my second son (smiling face #2) with this thought in mind, that when I was gone, he would be alone, and he is now 20 years old. Only after having a disabled child and a healthy child, both children have allowed me to study the same dreams, hopes, expectations, and concerns.

■ Wisdom Learned in Life

My oldest son has helped me learn kindness and compassion.　

When he was in the second grade of elementary school, he asked me something like this: "Mom, I'm studying hard. Mom, I'm trying my best to study but I can't do it. When I was in the first grade of junior high school, my friends made fun of me and bullied me, I might not be able to do my best anymore... My son's words were painful to me. I felt sorry for my son who had to live with this responsibility even though he was not responsible for it, but I said to him, "It's OK... You don't have to do your best. You have done a lot. But firends are good things to have. My son replied, "I want to have friends too, but I don't know what to do..." "Okay, let's think about it..." I said to him, "What I think, Mom, is that first you should want to be friends... and then you should fix what you are doing wrong... and let's try to do it little by little". My words cheered my son up, and although he only made a few friends, he went to school without missing a day, and sometimes when I asked him if he was having fun, he would reply, "Well, it's a bit so-so...but it's fun" and this my son's kindness encouraged me,.

The presence of my second son has taught me the spirit of courage and strength. He was working hard to make his life in soccer making black sun tan at junior high school.  It was at such time that he said, "My friend's mother told me not to go out with A-kun, and my friends also said that he is not a very good guy and that I should stop. Do you know what I shoud do?". After receiving such a consultation request, I asked him, "Do you like A-kun? ". He replied "Well, He's not exactly problem-free, but I don't think he's as bad as people think he is". I listened to my son's words with a little warmth and said, "I think it's good to be honest with yourself, and if you make decisions based on other people's judgment, it is very difficult to take responsibility. I think it is better to take responsibility in the simplest way possible. If you make your own decisions, you can take responsibility by reflecting on your own actions, but if you follow other people's decisions, how can you take responsibility?". I wanted my son to take responsibility for his own courageous decisions and if he encountered a great problem and struggled to answer it, I wanted him to learn a lot of things, if he saw something good that people around him didn't see, I wanted him to cherish it, I wanted him to realize that. This is the wisdom we learn in life.

■ Convenience, but...

When we face our children, we think about what we should do or say to them, and as adults, we think with wisdom, and as we search for good answers, we also acquire wisdom. But there are many things they cannot do their best, and there are many things adults cannot do their best either... It is important to do our best, but it is also very important to accept that we cannot do our best, and to think that we do not have to do our best. I felt a little hotter and a little kinder, and I realized once again that I am gradually becoming a mother as my child grows up.　　

I feel that as I gain more and more wisdom to live my life, I will be able to answer various problems with ease. The more knowledge we have, the wiser we become, but is knowledge alone enough? It is easy to increase knowledge, it is taught in school, and it can be learned from books. All children who are good students and talented people have a wealth of knowledge.

So how do we acquire wisdom? I feel that wisdom is something we acquire and learn from our daily life. Grandma's wisdom... There is so much to learn from the wisdom of the ancients, from their experiences and experiences. Knowledge is a tool and wisdom is a thought. It is our thoughts that make or break our knowledge. It is the family and adults who nurture our thoughts. Wisdom is indispensable for life. Good wisdom will surely bring happiness, while bad wisdom will destroy you. So...let's acquire good wisdom and wisdom from adults as well.